the backstabbing snake

↓

I won't lie, I’ve told this story more times than I can count. And not because I care about the guy, but because I needed validation that this was actually as shady as it felt.

All I wanted was something casual, consistent, and chill. So I started "dating" someone I genuinely liked as a friend. Things were fine… until he caught deeper feelings.

I reminded him of what we agreed on (aka: nothing serious). He responded by blocking me. Which was a lame + immature response, but oh well 🤷🏼‍♀️

Then a few weeks later, things got messy.

A couple weeks later, I get a picture from a girl friend. Sweaty, tousled hair, shirtless, and sitting next to, guess who? Yup. That very same dude.

No caption. No “hey I’ve been seeing X, just so you know.” Just… that.

Apparently, she was hoping I’d be upset. Over someone I hadn’t even talked to in months. Meanwhile, I’d moved on and was actively dating someone new (who treats me like a princess, tyvm 💅🏼)

But the part that really stung wasn’t even about him. It was about HER.

She was someone I trusted and had invited into my space. And all she wanted was to "win" a game I wasn't even playing.

It was giving: “congrats on your leftovers, babe.”

And maybe that’s what made it hurt. Because I wasn’t upset about losing a man (honey, pls lol). I was upset about realizing I didn’t have the kind of friend I thought I did.

Turns out, she only ever wanted to hang out when there were drinks (or marines) involved. Not the kind of adult friendship I wanted.

And definitely not the kind of community I’m trying to build.

Because while the petty drama makes for a good story... it also made me realize how much I hate fake energy.

The kind where someone tries to prove a point you didn’t ask for. Or pushes for attention when the connection just isn’t there.

Which (surprise surprise) also shows up in email.

🌊 How to Create Connection Without Faking the ‘Bestie’ Energy 🌊

You don’t build community through inbox love bombs and performative “we’re obsessed with you!!” copy.

You build it by showing up like a real person with clear intention, consistent energy, and genuine care.

This can look like:

☀️ Giving people something to respond to (not just sell them on)​
☀️ Letting them set the pace (email frequency, content types, etc.)​
☀️ Making space for their voice too (replies, surveys, casual prompts)​
☀️ Not faking the connection when you haven’t earned it yet
☀️ Sharing values and stories that make people feel safe, not targeted

People can feel when your list is just a numbers game. Or when you're writing like you're just checking boxes.

If you say you want connection, show it. If you say you care about community, build one people WANT to be a part of.

🛠️ Your 5-Minute Challenge 🛠️

Skim the last 3 emails you sent and ask yourself:

• Did I say something worth replying to?
• Did I write like I was talking with them, not just at them?
• Would I want to stay on this list if I weren’t the one writing it?

Jot down one small change that could make your list feel more like a group chat... and less like a stage.

That’s how you turn casual readers into loyal customers. By making them feel like they matter every time you hit send, not just when you need something.

Reading: The Nightingale, for the millionth week in a row lol. I'm over halfway through it, though! So progress is being made. Just in the slowest fashion ever lol. Still recommend this read!

Listening: A Deal with the Shadow King is my current audiobook and it's... very mid. Maybe I've just read too many romantic fantasies, but they're all kind of bleeding into each other at this point. 😅

Wellness Goal: Great question. Don't really have one atm since I'm up in Michigan, and it's hard to maintain routines with a 1-year-old running around getting into EVERYTHING lol but I adore my nephew so he gets a pass <3

Obsessing Over: RIIIIIINGS (silver, obvi). I've always wanted to be a ring-wearing girlie, but unfortunately I have fat fingers & struggle finding ones that fit. Until I got this hella affordable set of rings that make adorable stacks!

With Black Friday + holiday sales szn creeping up…

I’m offering 25% off email audits now through Sept 1 for email subscribers ONLY.

It’s the perfect time to make sure your flows, campaigns, and segments are ready to connect AND convert (I hate this verbiage, but it's the easiest way to explain it lmao).

And if you refer someone else for an audit (or any service), you’ll get 20% of their total invoice sent right to you. 😎 Because sharing is caring… and should be rewarded, duh.

(Just make sure they drop your name on the contact form!)

Also, side note, while I’ve got you:

I’m working on building out a free resource vault full of helpful templates, tips, and tools for when you’re not quite ready to outsource your emails yet.

This likely won't go live until 2026, but I'm gonna keep reminding you because your ideas matter and I would love to hear them pls!!!!

If there’s anything you’ve been stuck on or wish someone would just hand you, reply back and tell me. I’d love to include it. :)

Talk to ya next week,

​

​

​